Monday, January 19, 2015

G533 A Therapist Insider's Guide on Relationships healing the past

Title of the book:  A Therapist Insider's Guide on Relationships: Healing the Past

Author:  Roxanne J Derhodge BSc, MSc

Publisher: Influence Publishing

Publishing Date: 2014

ISBN: 978-1-77141-061-8


Relationships are complex and challenging, they are also vitally important to our sense of well-being. This book will guide you through a deep personal exploration of your life's relationships. Breaking out of the mold of traditional therapist protocol, expert therapist Roxanne Derhodge delves into her own past relationships to show how you can heal from the past the same way she did. Using her own experiences as an example and drawing on years of professional expertise as a counsellor, she explains how you can decipher your template for relationships and decide which aspects are in line with what you value and which are not. Through a step-by-step process you will learn how to create fulfilling and positive relationships that will enhance your life in every way.

Other Works:

Other works she has written are called Defyeneurs and Young Defyeners

Background of author: 
(From the book)

"Derhodge has been working in the field of psychology since 1988. She has worked with individuals, families, couples and other groups. She worked as a health and wellness consultant for over 12 years, during which she enacted health and wellness strategies to make workplaces healthier. Her unique blend of warmth, along with her uncanny ability to connect with and decipher the needs of her clients, has made her invaluable in her field."  (177)


"The life you create for yourself, from your conception to the end of your life, is a tapestry of combined moments that are all linked together, and hopefully fit together to create your ideal life. Once you enter the world you face a vastness of possibilites, which unfortunately can sometimes become impaired by your biology or by the environment that surrounds you. When you enter this world as an infant, you are basically helpless, and in essence, your environment strongly dictates the blueprint of your life." (Introduction)

Addressed problems:

"You will not only examine the elements of my life, but you will also be able to achieve a realistic view of your own life, and to find areas for improvement." (Introduction)

Summary of Content:

No matter your beginnings or what lessons your learned in childhood, its always possible to improve and to become a better person


"Life is truly an amazing process. We have the ability to alter our lives each and every day. My life lessons have been a privelege to me- the adversity and all. I would maybe alter some of the unnecessary pain that I endured, but overall, I wouldn't change much of my life." (171)

Main Points: 
* The Theories behind your blueprint
*The Stages in your life
* Relating my thoughts, body and emotional alignment to the stages
*My childhood
*My teen years
*The body as a messenger
*Developmental paths from childhood to teen years to adulthood
*Case Studies
*My Reflection on my life
*Listen to your inner voice
*Legacy to the future generations
*Lessons learned
*The blueprint of your life

Why its interesting and informative:

In college as well as high school, psychology has always fascinated me, and I love learning facts about the mind and the processes of growing up. One thing I struggled when it came to understanding is Erikson's Theory of Development: do we stay in a specific stage until we master it, and what of other stages? What I learned is that stages are a spectrum and we move on to next building block once we master it. Through these stages the author lays out her life in meticulous detail, allowing the reader to see where she went wrong and how she got back on track.

Addressing the Issues:

Basically the author offers hope to those who didn't have a satisfying childhood growing up, While I will use it for myself, I also will use it for a fictional character to understand him better and to help him overcome his issues. This is one book that should be constantly re-read and understood, and also its short if you're worried about the size.


While I knew the importance of safety and affection, I actually didn't realize that these factors have affected us from the moment of conceptions or birth even! I also didn't realize that its possible to change one's life through acknowledgement of these factors. I really enjoyed watching how the author built up her life and we could see where she went wrong.


The sources aren't documented, but I imagine that she did use anecdotal and personal sources for her book as well as a psychology book to help with different theories.


I would highly recommend for people to read and buy this book because its enlightening, short and anyone can understand it. There are questions towards the end that will make one really think and will help them realize where they might have went wrong.

I would like to thank the author for the chance to read and review this wonderful book 

5 out of 5
(0: Stay away unless a masochist 1: Good for insomnia 2: Horrible but readable; 3: Readable and quickly forgettable, 4: Good, enjoyable 5: Buy it, keep it and never let it go.)

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