Monday, July 8, 2013

G127 Modern Love; The Grownup's Guide to Relationships & Online Dating

Title of the book: Modern Love; The Grownup's Guide to Relationships & Online Dating

Author: Lisa Cija Black

Publisher: Cija Black Consulting

Publishing Date: 2012

ISBN: 9781620302729


Modern Love will help you consider your past relationship baggage, look through your relationship assumptions and teach you how to apply that information to a focused search for love off and online.

Modern Love takes a unique approach to the topics of relationships and online dating. There are a million and one books out there about improving your relationships OR online dating, but I have yet to find one that combines the two. MODERN LOVE asks you to review your relationship baggage, identify your relationship expectations and then produce a truthful engaging online dating profile. The lessons learned from preparing an online profile will be beneficial even if you decide online dating isn’t for you

Other Works by author:

This appears to be the author's first novel.

Background of author:


in Victorville, The United States



twitter username

Self Help, Dating, Relationships

member since
January 2013

Cija Black is an empowering Portland, Oregon writer, blogger, online educator and speaker devoted to showing people that happiness is not as hard to achieve as they might think. Her dating and relationship expertise comes from 20 years of in-the-trenches experience safely using personals both on and off line.

Cija Black is dedicated to helping people sort their relationship baggage, and find real love and take responsibility for their own happiness. She is committed to bringing clarity to situations that previously seemed like a massive tangle of misunderstanding and frustration.

Theme of the book:

"By writing this book, I am striving help my generation develop a fresh perspective on dating. I want people to understand that dating isn't nearly as intimidating as they might think and that there is much to be gained." (9)

Problems addressed:

"Another reason I wanted to write this book was to fill a gap I saw in the market. There is so much information about relationships OR online dating but rarely do these two worlds merge. Most relationship books talk about your current relationship and how to fix it or how to get ove ran old relationship, but don't really consider the raw material of past relationships as a way to grow new and better relationships." (9)

Summary of content:

The author does cover the relationship baggage, how to set up a profile online and this is followed by first dates and dos and dont's. She doesn't spend too much time going into relationship baggage, and her writing reflects something to think or consider although she does encourage her readers to check out other books and to come back whenever the person is ready to proceed further.


"I wanted to bring those two worlds together and encourage people to dig through their past relationships to help them craft and post honest engaging online dating profiles, have great dates and potentially enter into exciting new and meaningful relationships." (9)

Main Points:

Introduction: You, Me and This Book
* Who Am I?
Section I: Relationship Archeology; It's NOT the same as it ever was and neither are you
* To date or Not to Date
* I'm Ready to Date!
*Looking back to Move Forward
*Types not Recommended for a Relationship
*Ideals and Deal Breakers
*The Most Important Questions YOu will ever answer
*This Deep Introspection stuff is hard
* The external stuff
*Main Concepts from this section
Section II: Getting Your profile online; Show 'em what you're workin' with
*Dating is not a root canal
*Getting online
*Putting yourself on display
*My profile is up, now what?
*Break the ice- first contact
*Main concepts from this section
Section III: Going on dates and more; Time to step away from the box
*Dates and dating
*The first date
*Moving on
*This might really be something
* Main concepts fromt his section
*The end and the beginning
*Thank you!

Why Its Interesting and Informative:

Although brief, she does cover useful things such as the relationship baggage, reasons someone would want to date and whether or not you're ready to date. Along with the first section, she also goes over online dating and some websites she tried along with one she liked and how to make a good profile, followed by what to do and not to do when having a first date. (No sex on the first date, unless you want that kind of relationship.)

Supports Thesis:

The author has laid the foundation for what one hopes to be an in-depth analysis of whether or not someone is ready to date, and how to capture someone else's attention as well as what to do. As I mentioned, this is a foundation, and if you want something in-depth, the author does recommend some books you can check out, online I believe.

Special features:

The book is divided into sections and easy to read chapters. The author does offer more resources on the web and on her website. (I didn't check out the site.)

Address the issues:

It seems that most of the books deal with either/or. That is it deals with baggage someone is carrying, or how to get over someone or it doesn't even cover online dating at all. It feels that most books didn't really come out onto 21st century and they still treat it like 20th century where dating was either through friends or parents or whatnot. Most people today use the Internet to find that someone special.

Ideas in book vs larger ideas:

She kills two birds with one stone so to speak. She combines relationship baggage, online dating and encourages people to think more positively of dating instead of it being like a root canal. Perhaps this might encourage more authors to write books about online dating instead of treating the 21st century as a 20th century.


I hadn't used her advice yet, but I have to say that it sounds common sense and not difficult to follow. I was also surprised by some of it, including the advice on pictures, and the type of people you would want to stay away from, such as those that are constantly upset by life, or drama queens and so forth.


The author used her own personal life I think, although there might have been some book sources which aren't listed in the book.


In conclusion, I would advise for this to be read, but for something in depth, I would ask to look elsewhere so to speak.

Quick notes: I would like to thank the author for the opportunity to read and review the book.

4 out of 5
 (0: Stay away unless a masochist 1: Good for insomnia 2: Horrible but readable; 3: Readable and quickly forgettable, 4: Good, enjoyable 5: Buy it, keep it and never let it go.)

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